I would never have guessed that before.
The past five months have been anything but full of dreams. The fight I've warred has been the most terrifying of my whole life. There were moments so dark I thought I was going mad. I felt attacked in the innermost part of who I am... my identity as a daughter of the Most High. All the knowledge of the authority I had in Christ seemed to be forgotten. I felt like a victim of something I couldn't control. I knew that God always spoke life over me, but most of the time, all I heard was death.
Death over my dreams.
I guess the month of November is like that. Everything is dying, going to sleep. The last of the leaves fall from the trees, and with them a sadness falls over the land as the color of life fades to gray. Dreams of anything green or growing seem so distant... Impossible, even.
What can I say, God? That I need you to be more than I thought You could be. I feel weak and full of fear. But Your love... it is more than anything I ever thought about You. I have nothing to give You... nothing beautiful about me that would draw You to me. But still, I feel Your love for me. And it's all I've ever wanted. I need to know that they desires that once burned in my heart for You aren't gone forever! I need to know that freedom is not a figment of my imagination. I need to know that dreams can live again.
Some of you have experienced times like this, when dreams aren't anywhere to be found, and some of you haven't. In either case, there's something you need to know.
Your dreams will live again.
They might come back looking different than you had originally planned them. Your heart may have to let go of some things you never wanted to let die. Your heart may end up wanting things you never knew existed before. You might have to be courageous and sacrifice things you've been trying to hold onto.
November may not look like the month of dreams. But in the middle of the dying colors and the grayness comes a new hope that is steady and unchanging. Let Him redefine the things you hold in Your heart. Let Him kill the things that don't belong so that what is lasting can remain. We only have one life. Let us not waste it on what others would have us do. Let us pour it out as a sacrifice at the feet of the only One who deserves it.
I promise it's worth it.
--
"Here you are, my darling," God says.
A dandelion, pure and catching.
She kisses a breath to cast the truth
and it blankets over thirsty bones
and awakens the fallen warriors that forgot their Father.
"Here you are, my darling.
Know who you're fighting for."
She is not alone.
The warriors roll up from the valley
with fists of flowers to kiss.
Together they remembered.
The Lord has spoken.
-Stephanie Stuckey
