Traveller's Eyes

The first rain of fall was pattering on the roof and shimmering in the air.

I poured my coffee and wrote. The feel of the pen across the thick page, crisp like the air, felt good. I could see yellow out the window. Peace was on the air. It tasted better than I could have imagined.

It felt like I had come home from a long journey. Everything smelled different, looked different. I saw everything with weary traveller's eyes, but they were my own. And so was this place, this place of cozy fires and warm coffee and misty chill. It was good to breathe. And it was good to feel home.

Sometimes we lose ourselves in the wild river of Life that seemed to always be moving. I knew I had. It was like I had gone back nine months in time and all of a sudden, He had redeemed everything and I stood, empty-handed before the Lover. But though I had nothing, I could hear Him singing over me. Songs of hope. Sweet, blessed hope that men would give everything for.

Instead of going to school, I went fishing with Dad up in the mountains. The hike was hard. My legs trembled. I felt weak and small, there in the green and blue and brown. I caught ten fish to Dad's seven. He called me the fish guru. I breathed in clear air and felt some rest. It had been a long time. This is where I belonged, I knew in my heart. The mountains always accepted wanderers, though they might toss them around a little bit.

I had felt so much guilt. I sat on the couch the night before with Mother and tearfully admitted that I felt wrong in everything I did, and everything I was. And she looked me in the eye and cried. But He BLED! He died! No one else would ever do that. He called you lovely, never guilty again.

How had I forgotten? In all the mess of things... How I had forgotten the faithfulness of the One who had loved forever?

Do you know about the Love that is above every other? The Love that demands all, but gives everything? The Love that pulses through your veins, as deep as it is high? Come to Love, sit with Him and tell Him of your heart. He longs to know you, as you long to know the mystery of the glorious unknown in the depths of your heart. 

I guess you could say Love has changed me again. We're all on a journey of change. It's a beautiful thing, if you can see it that way. Letting Love change you might be the best thing about life. I know it is for me.

Oh God, teach me to be loved, deeply and radically and desperately loved until it can't be contained in my body, until every thought is love. Teach me to wait, that every day would bring only the thought of today's beauty, not the pain of memory or the uncertainty of tomorrow. Teach me to love righteousness and purity. Show me the beauty of the Ages, the deep beauty hidden for the children to find in their laughter, the strong pull of the Spirit who moves my heart and mind and body to love and believe again.

May you know Love today.

All my love,

B